Melting Lisa

Thank you so much for the great support :)

2009-05-27T21:19:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone, bad bad blogger sorry!

Pretty much we are waiting for our hearing which will happen the end of July, our lawyer says we have a slamdunk case. My hubby can't work until the hearing, but I can. He will probably go and work overseas until this is sorted out.

And that is the Readers Digest version!

Eating, mmmm trying so hard, good days bad days, I have stayed the same for 2 weeks. I have decided to go back to meetings though, I will join on Saturday, I have been doing online only for 6 months, but right now I feel like I need to extra motivation and support.

Okay now . I have lots of reading to do! Going to see what you all have been up to :)

I need some help and I am reaching out

2009-05-13T00:34:00.002-06:00

I stayed the same this week, I am lucky. I have started losing control and it is completely and utterly stress related.

I know this is a weight loss blog, so as I divert into what is going on in my life, comes with a *disclaimer* to jump ahead if applicable :)

We (as a family) are in Canada on work permits we have been since 2001. We didn't apply for landed immigrant status for the first few years because, well we weren't sure yet. When we decided to apply for our status a few years ago, the paper nightmare started. Skimming over details, it is a long and very involved process, and so it should be! Immigrating is not something to be taken lightly.

So, 2009, our visa's are valid, life is good. My hubby was sent on business to the USA on Thursday, nothing unusual, passport in hand, letter from company stating why he was going, and his work permit.

Border control dude, having a bad day I suppose, noticed that the Work Permit and letter had different wording. My hubby is an aviation technician, and that is what the work permit says, the letter his company had given him said he was a project manager, a pure technicality, he is an aviation technician working on this particular contract as a project manager.

What happened next is still beyond logic and reasonable thought process to me. The border control guard revoked his visa. What does this mean? Well he cannot work, he had (our lawyer has sorted this part out) 21 days to leave Canada. The fact that one person has such power is beyond comprehension.

Current status (aside from my nerves being finished), our lawyer says he is 99% sure that the immigration board will overturn the decision when it reviews the case, wonderful ... is takes 70 - 90 days to get in front of that Board. We cannot survive on my salary alone, and what happens if they don't overturn it??? We get sent back to South Africa ... I actually cannot even carry on typing ......

I just need to focus on good eating, I went from not eating at all for 2 days to just not caring, I have to learn to deal with life without damaging my healthy progress.

Thanks for listening ...

Alert the media!

2009-04-24T13:31:00.002-06:00

I got out the shower this morning, glanced in the mirror .. and .....

I think I found my waist!!! The beginnings of my waistline ... coming back yeahhhhhhh

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-21T10:08:00.004-06:00

Oh it has been a long, long time since I could post such a happy weigh-in! 8 weeks of plateau'ing, finally we have a break through! 3.9 pounds gone for this week, but :):):) Not only does it feel totally awesome to finally kick that plateau on it's butt, look at all the cool things that is weigh-in results in ...................

I officially have lost 30 pounds! 32.1 to be exact :)
I am in the 200's!!! By the skin of my teeth 209.9 but hey I am there! 10 away from gettting out of the 200's forever!
My BMI this week is 34.9 ... uh huh started at Obese Class III (very severe at 40.4). Moved into Obese Class II quite quickly and have been there for oh 5/6 months. Today I moved into Obese Class I (30.00 - 34.99)!!! I am one class away from being pre-obese, how wicked is that?!

I started the Health magazine 7 day plan on Sunday, so 2 days in. Oh Karen you had asked which issue it was, it is the April 2009 issue :) It is not easy, I am hungry like all the time! But the food you are allowed is yummy, I definitely can't see doing this for more than 7 days (I actually woke up at 2:20 am and thought about making a steak I was so hungry!! ~ I didn't for the record, but oh I thought about it!) I am going to move from this 7 day plan to the kick start (the very first week of WW) and then go from there onto normal WW.

It's a good day today! Thank you so much for all your continued support, I really feel like I have been whinning and complaining a lot lately, hope I haven't been too much of a drag :)

MIA

2009-04-19T19:14:00.002-06:00

Oops, updated my side bar last week but didn't post, holy crazy busy!

Okay so last week was a disaster, birthday week, plus Easter, plus TOM = a 1.1 gain. Blah.

So I pulled up my boot straps and tried a lot harder this week, wouldn't say I was 100% on program but darn close, so hopefully Tuesday will yield a better weigh-in.

Hubby is away for 2 weeks on business, so I am going to use this time to try a diet I read in my Health magazine. WW is a way of life, I totally get that, but I need a jumpstart again, and it's so much easier when I don't have others to cook for, Robyn eats like a bird so I don't have to worry about her either. I am aiming to follow the diet plan for 7 days, and then back onto WW.

So that is where I am at, off to read all the missed posts so I can see where all my blogging buddies are at.

Ha-Ha!

2009-04-07T09:48:00.006-06:00

Laugh ... that's what I have to do! So the Wendie plan = 0.5 pound loss for this week! My body seems bound and determined to do this slowly, at this rate I will reach goal in 2013!!!! But it's okay, it's down, I have to just keep on trucking.

Thank you so much for all your input on my last post, all your suggestions are truly valued, this week I am lowering points, i.e. I should be on 26 a day changing to 25, if that doesn't work I will change to Core etc. etc. etc. I WILL get this done!

Nickleback was one of the best concerts I have ever been to, I have always loved their music, but even more so now, I truly value bands that are as good live as they are in the recording studio.

Last thing to ramble about .... 16 weeks till I leave for South Africa! I would love to get another 25 pounds off by then, but I am making peace with the fact that something happens when you turn 40, your metabolism slows down to a snail pace! I am almost 30 pounds lighter than I was 6 months ago, and I am making healthy decisions everyday, I need to switch my focus from being at goal when I see people I haven't seen for many years, to being happy and thankful that I get to see them.

Oh and one last thing .. yay Happy Birthday to me ... yip 41 today .. holy smokes!

Trying to shake it up

2009-04-01T09:52:00.004-06:00

I have done a lot of research and thinking since my WI yesterday. I have poured over my spreadsheet and found that from the beginning of September to the end of January (5 months) I lost 25 pounds, February to March (3 months) a whopping 3.8 pounds. So what I am doing it not working.

After much though I am willing to try anything (within reason of course!) My research, and a suggestion from a blogger lead me to the Wendie Plan, I found a thread about it on 3 Fat chicks. I am going to give it a bash, it's a week and if it works great, if it doesn't I will keep on trying to find answers.

My points allowance is 26 a day, according to the Wendie plan this is what I have to do:
Day 1 - 26 points
Day 2 - 31 points
Day 3 - 27 points
Day 4 - 41 points (super high day they call it)
Day 5 - 26 points
Day 6 - 30 points
Day 7 - 28 points

I will continue with my exercise DVD's and water.

Any suggestions are deeply appreciated, I hope you are all having a wicked week.

On a personal note .. whhhoooop whhooooppp for NickelBack concert tomorrow!!!!!!!!

WI Day

2009-03-31T09:14:00.001-06:00

My last week in review:

Exercise - At least 30 minutes 6 days out of 7
Eating/Tracking - Perfect, have 15 Flex points left and earned around 16 activity points
Water - Lots!

Weigh in 0.4 down

Frustration level - extreme

Good week so far!

2009-03-26T20:44:00.002-06:00

How is everyone in blogging world doing? So far my week has been awesome. I have managed to exercise everyday so far .. that's right 4/0 so far!

I had a very busy day today workwise, with challenges that came up with food. Reflecting on the day I am actually going to pat myself on the back for a minute:

Starting off this morning I had to go to a training session, which included breakfast, I thought ahead and ate my cereal at home so that I wasn't starving by the time I got there. And thank goodness I did! All those yummy pastries, sticky buns, scones - oh my calorie disaster, and I didn't touch a thing! I just ate an orange off the fruit plate. Lunch was sandwiches and salad, I found a chicken breast on wholewheat and loaded up from the veggie platter, the salads looked dangerous (i.e. mayo, and a rich Caesar) so I stayed away. When the desert tray came out I left! (Well I did have to get back to the office!)

At the office someone told me that the desert tray had come back to the office .... uurrrgghhhh ... the other employees had decided it looked too good to waste and there was a lot left, so they brought it back to the office to share. Well I dug deep and found the willpower to stay away from it all afternoon :)

Onto early evening, one of my co-workers is leaving after 15 years and we had a celebration for her at a local pub. Again .. challenging ... some healthy choices .. but they ordered trays of chicken wings, I LOVE chicken wings, I put two on my plate and my WW buddy (God bless her!) asked "gently" if I knew the points value, I said I was guessing 2 per piece, she whipped out her book and said nope 9 points for 3, so not worth it, I gave them over to a thinner party goer! I stuck with a wrap and veggies.

I purposely typed this all out, because each and everyone one of those is a big deal to me, 6 month ago I would have ended today feeling bloated and having eaten all the bad things I have listed above. My weight loss has slowed, but I have to look at the good I am doing, I have to keep motivating myself ...

Ohhh and the last piece of my week, I had to go for my annual mammogram *-* seriously when are they going to design a better test?! Holy squish, squash and flatten ... not a great experience. But, whinning aside, the last time I was at the x-ray place I was mortified when they gave me the middle size of gown and I couldn't close it, I had to ask for a bigger gown, so humiliating. Well, this time I got the medium gown .. and yip it fit comfortably! The small victories are so satifying :)

The 30 min a day challenge

2009-03-23T11:05:00.002-06:00

Just a quickie to update on last weeks 30 minutes a day exercise challenge:-

Monday - Zip nothing
Tuesday - 60 minutes yoga :)
Wednesday - Zip nothing
Thursday - 30 minutes Core Rythms DVD (work that waist!)
Friday - 30 minutes Brisk Walk DVD
Saturday - 30 minutes Walk for Weightloss DVD
Sunday - Another .. zip

So 4 days out of 7, not perfect, but I am really happy that I am making it a priority and really thinking about how I can work some exercise into my busy day.

I have been drinking way more water than normal, however .. yip there is a however .... weigh-in day is tomorrow, I really hope something happens because the whole week the scale has not budged .. been staying the same, really hope my official day tomorrow shows some results.

Hope you all have great weigh in's this week!

From the heart honesty

2009-03-17T13:36:00.002-06:00

I had a 0.2 loss this week, yip 0.2, quite frankly I am darn lucky I didn't gain.

First off my exercise challenge I threw out to Jen .... she did so well, I am very proud! Me, lets just say Jen won hands down. I worked out twice this week .... 2 lonesome times, but you know what that is twice more than I would have the week before. Do I have excuses? Heck yeah! But successful people don't have excuses correct? I do take coumadin as a blood thinner (lifelong blood disorder I have) so my TOM is truly from hell, I cannot be an hour away from a bathroom for at least the first 2 days, but that was last week, this is a new week!

My eating ... here are some insights, I do really really well during the day, I pre-pack my lunches and snacks, and very rarely do I stray from what I have planned. The last few weeks I have noticed some old behaviours returning at night. I have literally begged hubby to stop buying Lays chips, those are such a trigger for me, especially during TOM week, if they are there I WILL eat them, he loves them ... he keeps buying them ... last week I pleaded with him to please just stop, finally I think he saw how upset I was, so lets see. What I found myself doing was "sneaking them" For goodness sake!!! I am a 40 year old woman sneaking a handful of chips, that behaviour stops NOW .. hehe that is me berating myself :S

So Jen (and any other bloggers up for a small challenge), this week I am on my game! No more stupid period, just steel determination :) I got my 60 minutes of yoga in today at lunchtime, so check mark next to Tuesday! BTW the challenge is just 30 minutes of some kind of movement everyday, walking, or any exercise DVD's you may have, literally any form of movement that is not normally part of your day. I am trying to prove to myself that 30 minutes a day is totally doable even with families to take care of and a job etc. etc. etc.

One other thing I quickly wanted to chat about this week, my co-worker who is doing WW with me and is very near to 30 pounds. Last week she went away on a romantic retreat to the mountains with her hubby, she was totally prepared, great with her food, took a portable DVD with her to exercise etc. She put on 3.8 pounds (she weighs in Sat) .... now they have a challenge going at her centre and they have been doing lots of weights and ALOT of exercise, I am totally convinced that something happens when you exercise alot, you are doing great things for your body, but it must have something to do with muscle weighing more than fat etc? But really what I wanted to talk about was how desperately upset she was, it totally broke my heart, the week before she was 0.4 from 30 pounds, and was totally convinced that she was going to get there, she said it felt like a slap in the face. I was so sad listening to her, and watching the tears well up in her eyes, I truly wish for every ounce of effort we put into this weight loss thing, we were fairly rewarded on the scale. but it doesn't work like that, I didn't even have the right words for her. Although i am totally convinced that her inches will be totally down and her weigh in this week will be wicked.

Okay that, my dear blogging buddies, is all the thoughts on my mind today. I hope you are all having an awesome week!

Okay enough

2009-03-10T10:42:00.004-06:00

My blog buddy Jen and I started our journey around the same time (as total strangers). Even though I have quite a lot more than her to loose in total, we bonded instantly with very similar thought processing and where we are at mentally. I find it totally facinating that we both hit a wall at about the same time. I keep thinking to myself, "what is your advice to her?" because I really need to follow my own advice.

I am trying so hard, I am making much better choices than I would have a year ago. BUT I am not moving as much as I should, and I am allowing some night-time snacking to creep back in.

I know I am struggling with a little bit of seasonal depression right now, growing up in a country with a perfect climate makes it very hard to adapt to these Canadian winters, and after a huge snow storm on Saturday we have been sitting between -20 and -30, I hate it! It's been winter for 5 months now! Calgary really sucks badly at clearing the roads, they are totally icy right now, and plain dangerous, I saw 5 ~ yes 5! serious accidents on my way to work this morning, it just makes me not even focus on my eating, and yet I want this sooooo badly, I have tasted success and I will NOT give up (believe me the thoughts have been running through my mind the last few days) .. but I won't .. .this is too important to me ....

Oh I did loose 0.5 this week, but I have been playing with the same pounds for weeks now!

Tattoo

2009-03-01T14:07:00.005-07:00

Here we go, my adventure at 40 in pictures!

The idea came to me from a charm bracelet, and the significance of people in our lives.

The Yin Yang represents me; the cross my brother Neil; the rugby ball my very sporty son Justin; the music note my musical son Tyrone; the ballet shoe dancing daughter Robyn; the heart my twin soul Marc; the feathers and rest of design I just liked how it brought everything together.

Catch up post

2009-02-28T23:49:00.003-07:00

Well I did it! I promise I will post pictures of the tattoo tomorrow, just waiting for the swelling to go down before I take pics.

For those of you who have not been tattooed It Hurts! Holy! The first 2 hours were okay, by hour 3 I thought I was going to give up, it was really owie! The tattoo artist told me that normally after about 2 hours, it gets worse because the blood is rushing to fix the "injury" so the nerve endings become more sensitive (and how!) That is why people do tattoo's in stages. I told him there was no way I was coming back ..... we needed to get it done! Well nearly 4 hours in total and its done. I really love it, although it is weird to wrap your head around the fact that this is it, it's there permanently!

Okay onto dieting stuff ......

It's been a crap week. My doctor called on Monday and wanted to see me, remember my medical that I was so excited about? Well I went in on Wednesday, and my blood work was in, the good news ... my blood sugars were normal, last year - borderline diabetic. But my cholesterol was up :( I was so upset I felt like I was going to start crying, she was very understanding and said that it is not always weight. Genetics (thank you Dad!) and other factors. I was so frustrated I honestly thought my numbers would be down. Anyway, I really, really didn't want to go on medication, I begged her to give me 3 more months. I HAVE to exercise more, and I bought books to educate myself. I had no idea that shrimp and almonds were loaded with cholesterol, I really didn't and those have been my staples over my weight loss journey.

So I have 3 months to get the numbers down, I will be paying very close attention to numbers of packaging now. I have to admit, the news did send me into a little tailspin with regards to eating. I didn't rush out and eat bad stuff, but I haven't tracked for 4 days, I felt slightly defeated, so I am not sure what my WI is going to be like, but no matter what, I am back on track and feeling the determination I know I need.

Urgh

2009-02-24T09:57:00.002-07:00

I just feel like curling up in a ball and crying. Yip 1.5 up this week ...wth! I had a perfect week, Friday was a going away party for my boss, and yes things slipped in there that weren't accounted for, but I hadn't touched my 35 flex points or activity points yet. It's so frustrating :(

I have been at this for 25 weeks ... 25 weeks! So with my loss being at just over 28 pounds that is just over a pound a week, I really thought I would be closer to 50 pounds lost by now ... sigh ...

Sorry to be negative, it's just hard, I know a lot of you out there can relate, it's not like I am expecting the weight just to disappear by itself overnight, I am working really hard at it.

Okay pity party over!

Keep on trucking I suppose ^0^

Oh big week for me this week! I am getting my first ever tattoo on Thursday! I am so excited, I have seriously always wanted a tattoo, but everytime I got close to getting one, I lost my nerve (I tend to totally over-analyze things!) Anyway, I found a design a fell in love with last year, and worked with the tattoo artist to customise it to make it personal to me. So Thursday is the day!

Oh so close!

2009-02-16T12:17:00.002-07:00

Happy with WI of bang on 2.0 pounds, would have been awesome if I had just 0.3 more to hit the 30 pounds milestone .. next week! :)

My focus this week is at home walking and water. I so desperately want to get out of the 200's! 12 more to go .......

Progress Pictures

2009-02-14T12:34:00.006-07:00

Wow I can't believe I am about to do this! If you asked me 6 months ago if I would put a picture of my belly up on the Internet I would have asked you what drugs you were on!

But! My fellow bloggers have inspired me, I suppose it's about being accountable and honest, and also saying hey look how far I have come!

So my absolute worst picture that was my turning point, I was wearing these pants, they were tight, around 30 pounds later, here is how they fit:

My right hand it actually holding them up or they will fall down :)

Okay so yes I know I don't have a waist yet! But it's coming, I am still not ready to post the original picture associated with these pants, eventually I am sure I will ... just not yet.

So .. what do you think? 30 pounds can make a dent in the effort can't it!

Half way through the week!

2009-02-11T20:56:00.002-07:00

I completely forgot to post about my WI this week! 1.5 pounds down which makes me very happy, I am starting to be very weary about loosing big numbers because the next week seems to be disappointing for me. So I will take 1.5 with a smile!

Yoga yesterday was hard! Oi I am certainly feeling it today my legs have been like jello all day. On the exercise front, a colleague of mine is also doing WW, she is good with her exercise, running etc. Well she ordered the Core Rhythms DVD set and is loving it, she said it is a really tough work out. I decided to order it http://www.corerhythms.com/ ..... I love to dance, so I figure this may be exercise that I will enjoy.

Short and sweet from me today, hope you are all having a great week :)

Doc Report

2009-02-05T21:07:00.002-07:00

Hi everyone :)

My yearly medical yesterday went really well, I felt like a schoolgirl being complimented by her teacher!!! As soon as the Doctor walked in to the exam room (before looking at my chart), she said "Wow you have lost some weight" That made me really happy! I mean she sees how many people a day? And she hasn't seen me for 6 months, so I was really chuffed that she noticed :)

My blood pressure is NORMAL whhhhoooooo NORMAL! I was so thrilled. I still have to go do the bloodwork, but she said that my cholesterol will be down she is convinced. And that is just 30 pounds! I know I still have a long way to go, but it was so great to get some no scale related validation. She said I should aim to loose another 30 pounds, I don't agree, but after another 30 we can check it out.

So there you have it bloglings, every pound makes a difference to our health .. so here is to the next 30!

Busy busy

2009-02-03T20:11:00.004-07:00

Wow work has been insanely busy, but I really wanted to take time to just do even a small little blog update, need to look after ourselves first right?

I really think we need to listen to our bodies more. When my husband pinched his sciatic nerve in December, he had no warnings, he was however working 18 hour days 6 days a week, not listening to his body, so his body slowed him down drastically - and now he is listening to his body!! Quick update on that, he went back to work this week, taking it really easy, but wow it was 6 weeks! He has not been off work that long in all his years of working!!!

And me, well I have been really stressed at work, just so busy and overwhelmed, and my son left back for South Africa 2 weeks ago, so I should have known to listen to my body .. but nope I didn't slow down, and now I have a wicked case of the flu .... yip body telling me "if you won't slow down I will just make you"

So lessons learnt for sure.

Holy my weight loss is crawling, I really thought I would have a good loss this week but nope all of 0.3 pounds, but it's down, I will take it, slow and steady. OOoo which reminds me, I have my annual medical tomorrow, I am really hoping that the 26 pounds I have lost so far will reflect in my blood work and blood pressure. Last year after my results came back my doctor called me in: border line high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and all sorts of other warnings. I have been checking my blood pressure at the drug store and I really think it is back under control, I will be really, really thrilled if she tells me I can stop the medication.

One more random thought, I was cleaning out some drawers in my bedroom over the weekend, I found a weight chart from a few months before left South Africa, I weighed 75 kgs then ... ummm quick calculation ...165 pounds. Why is that significant to me? Well I think a couple of months before that I weighed 150, then Neil was killed. So clearly my weight started creeping up straight away, I just wasn't paying attention. When we got to Canada I didn't even weigh myself for about 2 years, and then the problem was way bigger.

All this reflection is really for myself, to put things in perspective, I so desperately wanted to be at goal in August when I go home for a visit, at the moment goal is set at 142 pounds, that is a real stretch since I leave in 6 months (that would be around 72 pounds more to loose), I will really try very hard for it, but even if I can get to 165 before I go, I think I will be happy.

Haha this didn't end up being short!!! Wish me luck for tomorrow!! And hope you are all having a brilliant week :)

Mid week post with some yoga insights

2009-01-28T20:38:00.003-07:00

Hi everyone! I know I am normally the once a week girl, but here I am on a Wednesday night :) How is everyone??? All having a good week???

I have been 100% on track so far, okay maybe not the water, drinking lots of herbal tea, it's soooooo cold I can't bring myself to drink water, but that's okay, working on all the other aspects. One of which was my promise to start exercising, with my first yoga lesson last week, I had such fun. I really thought I wouldn't, being larger I can't move like my smaller peers, but I was proud of myself, I did it, and I was comfortable in my skin.

Week 2 and the instructor kicked it up a notch (or 7!!!) Holy!!!! A few of those positions I literally was swearing in my mind, thinking you have GOT to be kidding me, but I didn't give up I tried really hard, although I have to say my stupid belly kept getting in the way. So in a nutshell I was feeling more self conscious, but I won't give up!

When I woke up my wrist was really uncomfortable, I didn't think much of it, I work on the computer a lot, so thought that might be it .... then I remembered this pose ....

That started me thinking, the average weight in the class is probably around 150 pounds, is it safe to be balancing 217 odd pounds on your wrist!!!! My poor body haha I am going to quietly speak to the instructor next week to see if she has any insights into larger women starting yoga. Do any of you have any experience? And input so greatly appreciated :)

Weigh-in

2009-01-26T10:09:00.002-07:00

A gain of 1.6 pounds ...... do I want to stamp my feet like a 2 year old? Yip I sure do. But ..... I knew it would be a tough week, I just wish my body didn't attach itself to fat like a groupie to Jon Bon Jovi ... lemme go through my week.

It was tough I knew it would be, I had 4 significant events that involved food, I tried really hard, I planned, I made good choices, but at some of them, maybe the veggies had butter etc. And yes I probably went over points with some wine and a taste of some decadent cake.

On the positive, I started yoga on Tuesday ... yip I sure did! First significant form of movement I have done in over 2 years, that has to count in my favour surely.

I was reviewing my spreadsheet that I track my weight loss on, bottom line is December 15th I weighed 217.6 today Jan 26 I weigh 216.1 .... I was stunned to figure it out, I really thought aside from 1 or 2 up weeks I have been going down, clearly I am not focused enough. I joked with a friend this morning that I have the maintenance thing down to a fine art! What seems to be happening is that I have a great week, followed by a dismal week. I honestly don't think I am self-sabotaging, but something is not going to same as my first few months. Maybe my body just hit it's own plateau, I am really not sure.

I have one week to finish off January with a bang, but more importantly I need to follow it up with another good week. I am work in progress, and God knows I am trying so hard.

Boooyahhhhh

2009-01-19T10:20:00.006-07:00

Yip after a terrible weigh-in last week, you ladies were all right (of course!!!) A loss of 4.6 pounds this week! yay ... in the 20 or so weeks I have been doing this that is my best loss to date (granted last week was my most up ... so really it all balances out!)

I really don't understand the science behind the numbers I see on the scale, but I do know how proud I am when the numbers reflect the work I put in, if I stick to the rules ... and all of them, water, exercise, weighing food, tracking etc. etc. I get the results ... it's not rocket science ^0^

Okay onto this week and the challenges the lie ahead, my second son leaves for South Africa tomorrow night :( His brother went back last January and I don't think will come back to Canada, Justin is going until August (he will be flying back with me after my holiday in back home). He wants to spend time with family and friends, and I totally understand that, but breaks my heart that I am going from a family of 5 to 3 in a very short time frame. NOT going to let it affect the way I eat though! When I land there in August my boys are going to be proud of their Mom.

Also have 2 functions, one going away dinner for Justin tonight at an awesome seafood place, and on Friday night we have a Farewell party for my boss who is leaving. Just going to plan! The farewell is a wine tasting event, so will have to keep points for it, again I have to remember what Jen reminded me about last week ... this is about a lifestyle change, and life happens!

On the last note ... wooooohooooo go Team Angie!!! yay us, I think if I read is correctly (I really was skimming blogs cause of lack of time) but I think we won week 1 yay!!!

Hope you all have a fantastic week, and I don't think I say it enough, thank you so much to each and everyone of you who take the time to read and comment and motivate ... you are all so fantastic!

Warning - about to rant and melt down

2009-01-12T09:31:00.003-07:00

So my weight is up 3 pounds this week. 3 pounds UP!! I was going to just post the weight and not even blog about it, but I am trying so hard to change the patterns that got me to this weight in the first place, so I am going to try and talk it out.

At first I thought, okay so it's TOM week, but I have not gained 3 pounds since starting this journey, period or no period, and it's towards the end, so really doubt much impact on the scale.

I also first thought I had a fantastic on program week! I honestly believed I did, and then I started to think about it properly. Breakfast and lunch perfect week. But I am sliding on dinner, not making wrong choices, but I am not weighing my food, I HAVE TO! Clearly I am not at the point yet where I can trust myself.

And yes, the stagette on Saturday night, I saved my flex points for it, but probably by not weighing foods for dinner I had used most of them up anyway. I drank a lot, and probably made some wrong food choices in terms of dip and 2am eating.

I am feeling so emotional on so many levels, I had a tough weekend, I need to blog, or privately journal about the people I surround myself with, the thing is I really love them, I am just so very very tired of being the fat girl of the group, some things happened this weekend that are actually to hard to post about the way I am feeling right now, I will try work it out in my head before I type it out.

And it's week 1 of BLBE, thank goodness it is the first week so it's since we gave our starting weights, so I am not up in terms of the competition.

So! I can either feel sorry for myself and throw the week away or I can make some promises to myself for the week, this is so important to me, I am choosing the later ... or is that latter ... I never know ...

1) I will weigh everything that passes these lips, EVERYTHING.

2) I will stick to my points.

3) I will drink my water.

4) I will move more, even if just a daily walk.

5) I will NOT weigh myself everyday, the next time I see a number will be next Monday.

6) And most importantly, I will try very hard to hold my head up high and stop beating myself up.

Going to end with a picture from Saturday night .. heck it was fun :)

Happy Saturday - Some BMI ramblings

2009-01-10T10:36:00.004-07:00

Jen and I have been chatting about BMI tracking. When I started my journey my Doctor asked me to track mine along with my weight. When I got home after that appointment I found this table:

http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/alt_formats/hpfb-dgpsa/pdf/nutrition/cg_quick_ref-ldc_rapide_ref-eng.pdf

I started at Obese Class III :( But very quickly moved into Class II, and now I am very close to Class I. It seems stupid to be excited about getting into the Overweight category .... but I look forward to that day! It is interesting to me that the BMI number for "overweight" is very small gap, only 4.9 points I think between overweight and normal. yay to normal!!

But there are other factors involved in BMI as this picture illustrates:

At the end of the day it's all about getting healthy right? And feeling confident and happy!!

I have saved ALL of my Flex points for tonight, off to a stagette party which is going to be great fun! See you all on Monday with hopefully a happy WI post!

1/4 of the Way There!

2009-01-05T20:36:00.003-07:00

Yay Wi today was awesome, 3.9 pounds down, and reached 25 pounds loss!

... And that just makes me happy and motivated to kick it up and get this done!

My hat off to stay at home Moms!!

2009-01-04T14:07:00.004-07:00

Wow so I have been on my Christmas holidays for 2 weeks. Most of my time has been dedicated to helping out hubby, who is recovering VERY slowly, onto week 3 and he is slowly walking around.

I am finding it so hard to track properly being at home. When I am at work, I pack my days lunch and snacks the night before, plan dinner, my points are allocated before my day even starts! Being at home ... it's hard! And temptation all around, darn all the skinny people in my house who keep bringing unhealthy stuff into the house!

So long and short of it, I am really looking forward to going back to work! Hahaha never thought I would say that, back to my safe routine, you stay at home moms .. you really rock!!!!!

Thanks to Heathers post http://heathersaloser.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-joined.html I joined the Biggest Loser Blog Edition, yay! The cut off is tonight for anyone interested in a great challenge! http://biggestloserblogedition.blogspot.com/

So weigh in tomorrow ... oi not sure how that will go, you may have noticed I snuck in my weigh-in last week without a post ^-^ Although there was a small loss for the month of December, which is an achievement in itself.

Onward and forward to 2009 healthiness .. *is that a word???* I have 7 months till my trip back home to South Africa ...... that is my huge motivation right now!

Post Christmas Check-in

2008-12-27T09:14:00.005-07:00

Hi everyone, hope you all had a wicked Christmas and got totally spoilt!

The last 6 days or so has been a train wreck for me. My #1 rule clearly has to be organization with eating. Last Sunday my hubby was rushed to hospital with a pinched sciatic nerve, poor guy wow he was in agony .. actually still is, but slowly getting better. From then on it was downhill for me. I tried really hard, keeping all my rules in my head, but when you are running around trying to organize Christmas and look after someone how couldnt walk, well preperation is zero, so grabbing pizza (which I couldn't finish yay only 3 slices!) ..... coming in from the store at 10 pm and grabbing bread for dinner etc.

So ........ I haven't weighed yet, WI in Monday, from this morning I am tracking again, and pulling it back together. Marc is semi-mobile so not relying on me as much, so I have time to make soups etc.

Christmas .. well it was great as always ..... here are a couple of pictures.

My daughter, Robyn and I on Christmas Eve

Haha very happy about my new video camera!

Like the rest of Canada .. snow snow snow!!!

I am a born worrier

2008-12-18T15:25:00.002-07:00

The fact that I naturally worry about things, big, small, significant, insignificant doesn't really matter has lead me to an odd place in my weight loss journey.

I have been trying for ummm probably 8 years to get my weight under control, and all that has really happened is that I have stuck to something for a month or two, lost some weight, fallen off the wagon and gained it all back (and for some reason the older you get, those regained pounds bring friends back with them).

Something has "clicked" with me this time, I am just so determined to get to goal, even through this Holiday Season, I am saying no, giving chocolate away that are given to me (as I side note .. wanna make yourself feel good?? If you are given a treat that you know you can't eat, while you are driving look for someone down and out, homeless etc. Stop car, hand over chocolates .. promise the feeling in your heart is way better that the guilt of eating it).

Anyway .. now I am starting to worry, because people are asking what is different this time, I can't answer, it just is, but that makes me worry that if I loose this momentum I won't know how to get it back! I mean how do you get something back that you don't know how you got in the first place!?

Hahaha as I reread, I make myself laugh ... my hubby always says, "can't you just be" ... I need to try just be ... be happy I am on the right path, be happy with where I am at, be confident that I can carry on.

Okay ramble over ... quick vent .. the roads in Calgary are STUPID!!! 2 Hours to do a normal 20 minute drive, it's an ice rink out there!

okay really done hehe

Bling Weigh-in Post!

2008-12-15T10:53:00.008-07:00

I am so thrilled with my weigh-in ... 4.4 pounds gone! With 2 Christmas parties and countless treats in eyesight at work, I am really proud of myself :)

So I hit a couple of things .... into the 210's which makes Onderland that much closer, I am thinking I can do it by the end of February 2009.

On the weigh watchers message boards we had a challenge of what we would like to loose before Christmas (in 6 weeks) I aimed for 12 .. this morning I hit it at 12.1!

And! Got my 10%!! (Which means ... yip more bling!) haha

The scale is a funny thing, last week when I weighed on day 1 of period, I was so mifffed, I knew I had been trying so hard, this morning when I weighed in and saw I had hit my 10% ... I literally had tears in my eyes, I know that sounds silly, but I have been working so hard at it, to see the results literally in front of my eyes, made me so happy.

Okay end of bling post!!!

Oh btw it's - (yes minus!) 32 without windchill today .. I think I froze off 2 pounds just shivering!

Holy Winter Storm!

2008-12-13T09:41:00.008-07:00

Wow Calgary is getting slammed right now. So far we have had 20cms of snow and the temperature has dropped to below -20! -30 with wind chill.

My young dog Cloe is so cute she attacks the snow ... but this is alot of snow ..

My daughter and her friend had fun though! I can't imagine doing this .. guess you have to be younger than 12!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Onto WW side of things, I am really so happy with myself, all those treats at work .. cake, chocolate, shortbread ... oi you name it and it is within reaching distance, I am finding willpower that I honestly didn't think existed in me ..... but I guess getting to goal is just more important to me than any treat right now.

Weigh-in Monday ... hoping to be a step closer to goal! (Mini goal of 10%)

Have a safe and warm one my bloggy buddies

Yay! My first blog award!

2008-12-10T22:39:00.003-07:00

Awww how special thank you so much Manda!!http://mandysthirtysomethingblog.blogspot.com/

I am quickly learning about the "blog culture" and the amazing support you all give each other, I thank you for making me feel so welcome, and for helping me along my way!

So my first award .. how cool is that, I had come home from another Christmas function, and was coming on to talk about how hard it is to stick to program going out, but I do think I did well .. heck I didn't order dessert! And I got this great surprise .. so thanks :)

The rules are:
1. You have to pass it on to 5 fabulous blogs.
2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions.

3. Make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.

It's hard to choose just 5!!! But here goes 5 Blogs that truly deserve honourable mention:

Paul: http://www.blogger.com/profile/10990383820496514497

Katschi: http://www.blogger.com/profile/04315996303259692721

Gracie: http://www.blogger.com/profile/07467977412072545574

Butterfli: http://icanseeitinyourface.blogspot.com/

Jen: http://www.blogger.com/profile/12645593290682739665

Awesome people, as are all the blogs I follow! Oh and I am pretty sure I have done the link thing wrong ... need help! haha

Okay 5 things I am addicted to:

1) Pink ... I love the colour pink ... always have ..

2) The game of tetris .. oi I really am addicted!! And really good after years of playing!

3) I think I am addicted to pleasing people .. the ultimate people pleaser ... something I am working on.

4) Coke Zero .. something I tried to quit as you may recall .. back on the silly stuff.

5) Addicted to loosing weight at the moment! The feeling of the scale going down is a great high!

Posting and moving past it .....

2008-12-08T10:55:00.002-07:00

I think I did really well this week, but nooooo weigh-in morning TOM pokes his stupid face into my life! Grrrrr ... I haven't been up at this time of the month during my short journey, however never had to weigh-in on day 1 .... so recording the 0.9 gain ... and moving on .. this week will be kick arse!

The silly season has begun!

2008-12-07T10:43:00.010-07:00

Hi everyone! Wow it's Sunday morning, okay well nearly noon ... and I have just woken up after a really hectic weekend. Good times and lots of fun, but this body is getting old and can't keep up the pace quite the same!

Friday night was my work party, here is a picture of the centerpieces I made, was supposed to be a fun project for my daughter and I to do, but she lost interest after the first one hahaha

Which leads to to what seems to be a common theme of mine on this blog ... photos .... you know what I think I hate the most, is my tubby face, clothes can hide so much, the double chin it constantly there staring back at the camera.

First party .. hubby and I ...

You know I am not going to do the "self hate" thing. I have started down the path of getting to goal, these will hopefully be the last pictures, no not hopefully, these WILL be the last Christmas pictures that I am worried about. I am blessed in so many other ways, friends, family, great husband, awesome kids, couple of months time I won't be so hung up on photos ...

Buuuuuut ..... hahaha next ... so Saturday night was Andrea's party. Now here I feel more self conscious, mainly because it's like the lifestyles of the rich and goodlooking ... couple of pictures from the evening you can see what I mean:

Okay onto the reason for my blog actually being in existence, keeping myself accountable:

I think I have done really well considering the fact that there has been great food around me 24/7 the last few days, in fact the problem I may have is not eating all my points, because I haven't had time to track, and I am so paranoid about going over points that I just stayed away from the party food completely.

Weigh-in tomorrow will let me know how week 1 of silly season has been!!!

Finally yay!

2008-12-01T12:16:00.002-07:00

Weigh in this morning was a huge relief ..... a better number to end off November. I lost 2.7 lbs which took me just over the 20 pound mark yay!

I am getting so close to some mini goals:
1) My 10% at 24 pounds lost
2) Getting into the 99 kilogram range, I convert my weight to pounds for here, but as I was raised on kilograms, so it means more to me. I suppose getting into the 99 level is almost the same as getting into onderland psychologically to me, although not the same in numbers .... 99.9 kilograms is 220.2 pounds .. I am sooooo close, I don't want to see that 100 number on the scale anymore!

It would be so awesome if I could make these mini goals in December, even though it is the tough month, but I want to get them before January!

Speaking of which, holy smokes!!! I opened my December calendar today .... I have an event to go to every Friday and Saturday from now until Christmas .. oi! Actually I have 7 things at least to go to .. oh I am going to have to plan ahead!

Well stayed the same

2008-11-24T12:12:00.006-07:00

Not using real names on here anymore !! Side story which I may share one day ...

~~~~~

Okay so stayed the same this week, taking it with a pinch of salt. I know I was OP, and this is still related to the injury, must up water though! And figure out some kind of exercise I can do ... walking is not too painful, maybe by the end of the week.....

~~~~~

Off topic for a minute check out the link .. wow just wow .. blew me away 7 years old!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOfKAPGfd6k&feature=related

Haven't figured out how to do the easier link yet ....

Have a great week everyone!

A week in fat land

2008-11-22T09:49:00.002-07:00

First off the pain from the shattered tailbone is subsiding a little, I am moving around much better, sitting and standing back up is still a little painful, but each day gets better.

I had a really, really busy week as well, work and the kids have had me on the go literally 18 hours a day, I am exhausted and really looking forward to hubby getting back.

First horrible moment this week involved a photo. I work for a not for profit agency, the singer Jann Arden was doing a benefit concert to raise money for our programs on Wednesday night. At the beginning of the evening all the Managers from our company and some VIP's did a meet and greet with her. It was nice to meet her, what a lovely lady! And oh so funny!!! Then came the photo op ....... there was about 15 of us, so I thought I can just stand behind and fade into the background, ended up that I was standing right behind her ....... the photographer took one picture and then said can the blonde lady behind Jann stop hiding!! I was mortified, everyone now of course was looking at me, Jann was bending down and saying "come on get in the picture" Sigh ... oh well, now I have to wait to see how they turned out, and they will be published in our fundraising material, .......... I can't wait till I am not so self conscious about pictures.

Okay move onto Thursday. We were getting new carpets at work, so our offices are a mess, boxes piled up all over, I really needed a box urgently in the store-room, when I got in there the safe had been moved (at a weight of 800 pounds) and a huge filing cabinet on the other side, I could see my boxes but there was no way I was going to get through the small gap, no way. I needed the stuff so urgently I had to go get a thinner co-worker who walked through the gap with no issue at all .... I was so embarrassed I wanted to cry.

So that was a week in fat land ... and to make matters 100% worse I think I may be up this week, I don't know, I am really trying hard, life has just been hard this week ..

Hope you are all having a good week, and thank you for listening to me rant and vent.

An unexpected meeting between my butt and concrete

2008-11-17T19:07:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone, hope all my cyber buddies are doing well.

Yesterday we had snow the whole day which started to melt in the afternoon and then temperatures dropped, add in some freezing fog and we have roads and side walks of sheer black ice.

I was clueless to all of that when I decided to keep my activity points up and take the dogs for a walk, as I stepped out of my front door I ended up 3 stairs down and straight on my butt. End result, a black eye (compliments of the dog leash I was carrying), and a bruised hand. But as soon as I landed I knew I had done something serious, the pain was something I have never experienced before in my life .. okay maybe childbirth ... the pain was right in my butt, I knew I had done something to my tailbone.

It was 8 pm I didn't want to spend the night at emerg, so I tried to just suck it up through the night. My hubby is away in Montreal, thank goodness my son is studying to be a FireFighter, so he is currently his doing EMR, he did a great job of looking after me through the night, which was very sleepless.

My doctor sent me off for x-rays, and yip I have broken my tailbone :( Nothing can be done, just really pain management, rest and ice. She said the pain should subside in the next 2 weeks.

So, long and short of it, I didn't weigh-in today, but I will tomorrow, I am very swollen, so I am not going to pay much attention to the number, I just don't want to break the momentum I have going because of this little bump in the road.

I will post my weigh-in tomorrow, but for now, thanking for letting me whine and feel awfully sorry for myself :)

Just a day of being mad at myself

2008-11-10T09:28:00.005-07:00

Urgh, well I promised myelf I would post though all mood swings. So ~ sorry to be a downer today. I am normally an upbeat person, but today I am pissy .. and not even pms'ing!

o.7 loss this week. Which is okay, it's down blah blah blah .. I tried to figure out what was going on in my head when I drove to work this morning, and I think the best I can come up with is that I am so mad at myself. How ..... in 7 short years .. how did I go from this:

To 100 pounds heavier and this (note to self, must stop taking pictures with Andrea, she makes me look worse!)

And the worst of it is, this is one of the better photo's of me at the moment, I don't even have the courage to post the other one I was going to use as my before picture.

If I caught my weight gain spiral at 20 / 30 even 40 pounds I wouldn't have this huge mountain to climb, and that makes me so sad inside that I allowed this to happen.

In those 7 years, my brother was killed and I moved to a new continent, so I know the reasons, and I also know I am on the right track now, just having a moment of thinking "Wow I have been plugging away at this for 11 weeks and I am not even 1/4 of the way there"

Sigh.

Yay happy Weigh-in Monday

2008-11-03T09:51:00.002-07:00

Yay so happy about weigh in today. Got through Halloween without touching a candy, but then I don't really have a sweet tooth, savoury stuff is my weakness.

Anyway, I am really pumped about my 3.5 loss this week, I was OP and did walk a little more, but more importantly TOM is in town and I still kicked his party pooping arse!

Yay - 16.9 pounds gone .... 83.1 to go .. BRING it On!

Profile .. and Hanging in There!

2008-10-30T16:06:00.002-06:00

Who knew, haha you can tell I am new to this blogging thing, I didn't know I had a profile, just added something finally!

It's been an odd week, we had a fundraiser at work, where I had to be at a bake sale, I was really good, didn't touch anything. Two lunches, think I have done okay with, I check before I go to see if they have nutritional information on their website. It just seems to have been harder work this week to keep below points, but I am trying and doing it!

My exercise mission consisted of me going for 1 walk and doing 20 minutes on my bike, not good enough, I have to kick that up a level.

Hope you are all having a great week!

Snail like October

2008-10-27T09:09:00.003-06:00

Yip inching along, I refuse to get despondent, down is down right? With a loss of 0.7 this week, my October loss is 4.2 pounds. My total loss for 8 weeks 13.4 pounds. It can just be frustrating when I look at my September notes I lost 4.4 in one week!!!! That's more than the entire month of October.

But it's all okay, I have been completely on program, Saturday night I went to a dinner party, the food wasn't too much of a challenge, however I do think I used all my flex points on wine!

I had a brief thought about changing my weigh in day to a Friday, I originally started weighing on a Monday because I think psychologically it keeps me accountable over the weekend, however I do weigh daily and Monday's are AWAYS my highest number of the week. As I type this out .. I think I am obsessing too much, going to stick with Mondays, and as long as I am on program and going down, all is good in my world.

This week also marks the week that I promised myself that I would start exercising. At the beginning of my journey I gave myself 8 weeks to get a handle on food, and then was time to get the butt moving. (The translation in the picture is "You can never start too young" - not really relevant but I loved the picture! ~ The quote is German and my first language is Afrikaans which is Dutch based) .... I digress ....

So I have an exercise bike at home, an eliptical machine and loads of videos. I will plan my attack tonight, think I will start with some walking videos. Hopefully bringing exercise into the mix will make November a better month!

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend, and good luck with a brilliant week!

My week

2008-10-24T09:45:00.004-06:00

It's been such a busy week, so happy to see Friday finally!!

I had a few challenges this week. Firstly the Halloween candies are starting to find their way to our office, I have done really well, just keep telling myself ~ "Nope my girl you can't have any - suck it up and stop wanting it" ... seems to be working so far!

Then on Wednesday I had lunch with 2 buddies I haven't seen for a year. We went to Joey's Mediterranean Grill ..... all I can say is thank goodness I have learnt to check nutritional values on menus BEFORE I go! http://www.joeysmedgrill.com/joeysexperience/nutritionalinformation

Oh my .. I checked out all the salads - simply not worth it, my favourite treat of all time Blue Cheese Fries .. wait for it 90 grams of fat .. 90!!!!!!!! And I thought the chicken souvlaki would be relatively safe ... naah something like 37 grams of fat! I was floored and found that the rotisserie chicken was my best bet, but next time I am choosing the restaurant!

I was a little disappointed that my friends didn't notice any weight loss at all, but in reality I know 12 pounds is not that noticable yet, especially since they haven't seen me in a year, next year ........

I am nervous about weigh-in on Monday, I have been totally OP, however for the first time I have used at least 15 (so far) of those extra points ... what are they Flex Points??? But I have been hungry, and well they are there to be used, oh and wine eats them up too!

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend. I also want to say thank you, I read all of your blogs every day, you are all inspirational to me, and I love the feeling that I am not alone :)

Aww bugger

2008-10-21T13:23:00.002-06:00

I somehow managed to delete my last entry without reading the comments :(:(

Sorry to those of you who took time to post!

Still not liking hairdressers mirrors

2008-10-17T20:59:00.003-06:00

The last few years I have really hated going to the hair salon, one reason ... okay maybe two .... I prefer my hair long and they always seem to misinterupt what an inch actually means, and secondly you are forced to stare into a mirror. Urgh ..... I avoid looking at myself at all costs, sitting in that chair with no where else to look, not liking it at all!

I was sad walking out of there, because I can't see much of a change in my face, but then I sat and chatted to myself (yes I may actually be finally loosing it!), I am on the right path, when I go back again in 6 months I am sure I will leave happier.

My hair looks great ^-^ She didn't take much off, but it looks healthy again. On a side note, I had my eyebrows waxed for the first time in my life too, holy hannah did that hurt or what! I don't even know if it looks good or not my eyes are so red all the way around.

Hope you are all going to have an awesome weekend my fellow bloggers.

Monday Weigh-in

2008-10-13T09:22:00.003-06:00

Okay a little glittery for not such a huge milestone, but I am very excited to watch those numbers go down!

240's bye bye now

230's stayed for a couple of weeks

Hellooo 220's :)

3.1 pound loss this week yay! Motivation before turkey day!

Celebrating 1 week Coke Zero detox

2008-10-10T15:16:00.005-06:00

Well tonight I will have 7 days under my belt of the Coke Zero detox, it has not been a walk in the park by any means. I have definitely had a headache a day, and walked past the vending maching at work with longing eyes many times!

Just a reminder that I was up to between 5 and 8 cans a day! So this is huge for me. I am doing it because of the horror stories I have heard about aspartame and as I move along my weight loss journey this is about getting healthy darn it! I was a little disheartened at lunch today, very proud of staying on program with my strawberries and lite cool whip, when someone who knows I am trying to get off aspartame said "Well the cool whip is sweetened with aspartame" :( Grrrrrrrr I remembered to check my yogurt, but didn't think about it with the cool whip .. sigh another thing off the list.

What isn't off the list is wine!!! yay I have saved all my extra points so that I can have some this weekend haha oi I sound like an addict!

First hurdle cleared

2008-10-08T21:23:00.000-06:00

Yay .. I was anxious about today. I have very deliberately avoided going out, I wanted to give myself a month to get used to my new eating ways, and to give myself confidence to deal with tempting situations.

Well today I had a seminar all day, I made sure I had a good breakfast, but I was worried about what would be given to us at lunch. Well thank goodness it was a mixture of sandwiches and wraps (I grabbed the only veggie wrap) and some delicious fruit .. and then the dreaded dessert tray ......

I didn't even look at it! Didn't acknowledge its existance, so really I don't know what was on the tray, but I was really proud of myself, not because I resisted, but more because it really didn't bother me, I didn't feel deprived at all.

Secondly there was pop ... oh no the dreaded Diet Coke .. Noooooo Only on day 3 of aspatame detox, but again yay .. just grabbed a water and that was that.

I hope I don't sound too much like "yay me" but I really think we beat ourselves up so much, this time I am trying to acknowledge good choices and overcoming hurdles.

Well Pffffffttt

2008-10-06T09:32:00.000-06:00

Arghhh I hate the scale. I had such a good week, totally tracked everything, totally on program ..... and what does the scale say? Weigh in exactly the same as last week. Nothing, not down one ounce, welll pffft to that.

Haha okay moment over, realistically I know, I had a big loss the week before, it's that time of the month, etc. It just can be so disheartening when you see those numbers, and you think all your hard work and dedication was for nothing.

But this is exactly why I decided to make sure I look at progress over a full month, trying not to get stuck on those weekly numbers.

Oh and quick update on the Coke Zero detox ... major headache, which I am thinking is caffiene withdrawal, and missing my bubbly drink, but on the plus side drank loads of water.

Holy it's expensive to eat healthy! And Some Diet Coke ramblings ...

2008-10-04T19:06:00.000-06:00

This morning I went to the Farmers' Market with a fellow WW buddy. It was really fun, but it struck me that fresh fruit and veggies, and lean cuts, organic chicken etc....... well you pay the price. All worth it though. I am really proud of myself, the only indulgence I buckled to was .... haha .. okay well I last had them in South Africa and I LOVE them .. Pork Pies, I know not for everyone, but I did really well, a month ago I would have brought it home and eaten the whole thing. I tried the best I could to work out the points, cut it into small pieces, had one piece and put the rest away *patting myself on back*

The friend I went with is a co-worker and has been on WW for about 6 months, or maybe more, and awesome lady. I don't think she has lots to loose, and I think she has lost around 30lbs. She was fun to shop with because we could work out the points of things as we shopped.

Okay this weeks challenge .. I HAVE to kick my Coke Zero habit. Yeah I know they are free on WW and all that, but I really drink a lot of them, on a good day about 3 cans a day, sometimes around 6. I have heard a lot about aspartame poisoning and how bad it is for you, finally another co-worker of mine sent me some research a doctor had done, and it scared me straight, I have to stop. And lets face it anything that is not consumed in moderation is bad for you, so I just can't have them around me.

Weigh in Monday .. I am a little nervous, I have been 100% on program, but TOM in town and I think my choices have been high in sodium, but hey lets wait and see!

Hope all my fellow "losers" out in cyber space are having an awesome weekend!

The People Behind me :)

2008-10-01T23:48:00.001-06:00

A little bit about me, I am married with 3 children. We immigrated from South Africa to Calgary, Canada just over 7 years ago.

Since moving here my eldest son, Tyrone, has moved back to South Africa, one of my big motivations is a trip I am doing next August to see him, and of course family and friends who haven't seen me for 7 years .. and I would like to spare them the shock of 100 pound weight gain since arriving here!

This is the only picture I have of Tyrone and I on his graduation day. He is such an awesome kid, so much fun and full of life. ADD from day 1, I simply cannot wait to see him next year!

Justin is in the process of qualifying to become a fire fighter and still lives with us, wouldn't have it any other way! Personally think he should be modelling as well :)

And my little princess Robyn :) Mommy's girl for sure!

My little dancer :)

Very proud of them all

One of the better pictures of hubby, Marc and I (cause I managed to hide double chin away under scarf :S

Tracy and I .. can't wait to do an after pic with my best bud :) And with Andrea :)

Buffet musings

2008-09-26T12:29:00.000-06:00

So my hubby called me out of the blue just before lunch time to see if I would join him for lunch. I instantly went into panic mode, no - I have my lunch all planned and here with me, I can’t blow this. But then I thought about it, this weight battle is my issue, not his, we don't have much time together just alone with kids and life stuff etc. He wanted to spend a couple of minutes with me alone … so I said I would go.

Now Marc has never had, nor never will have a weight problem, at 42 he weighs the same is in High School (grrrrrrrr). Anyway the little place down from where I work is awesome, on a Friday they do a buffet of all homemade offerings. Before we got there I had already decided to just have the Chef Salad (which btw blew me away when I got back and worked out the points to be 9!!!)

I watched the people around me, I am reading the book by Dr. Beck – How to Think Like a Thin Person, which is making me more observant about peoples eating habits. My hubby didn’t overload his plate, he got samplings of the foods he liked, and when he was full .. gasp .. he put his knife and fork down … I looked around some more, all the people in the little Café without a weight issue, had reasonable amounts of food on their plates with sensible portions, the larger folk generally had plates stacked. And yes that would be me, the mentality I had would be "heck I am going to get my $13 value from this meal", but no more, that kind of mentality has got me to the overweight place I am at now.

Next time hubby wants to go to the buffet, I won’t order the salad, I will have the buffet with him, I will just make sensible choices .........

The Girls

2008-09-25T10:01:00.000-06:00

Aren't they just stunning. And they are amazing ladies too, no crisism at all, but I do look forward to the day when I don't feel like the one standing out for the wrong reasons.

The Art of trying to hide a tubby face from the camera

2008-09-24T22:05:00.001-06:00

Behind the hair?

Behind People?

Behind the glass?